Sunday reading

A likely conversation between some of our neighbors this afternoon as they watched me in our front yard ...

(Imagine an honory elderly woman)

Harold, look across the street! That man's spreading chicken wire all over his flower beds. What is he doing that for!?

(A little while later ...)

Now's he's spraying something too! What's in Sam's name is he doing over there!? He's ruining his yard!

Yes. Our front yard now looks, for lack of a better term, a little retarded.

See, I spent most of yesterday planting nearly 100 bulbs in our front and back gardens. But we also have some of the boldest and brash squirrels you've ever known in our neighborhood, a learned trait I attribute mostly to one of our neighbors who feeds the little pests ... These squirrels, which are black by the way, have proceeded to bury food, dig up and wreak havoc on much of what I've planted all summer long. And today, I came outside to finds holes, like an expired mine field, throughout the areas I'd planted.

So I declared war.

Today, I finished planting the bulbs I had left, and tried replanting the ones I found scattered. Covered the areas with a wire mesh. And then doused everything with Critter Ridder ...

Got a lot of funny looks from people passing by (including one elderly woman who, after I explained what I was doing, said she's had the same problems in her yard and has given up her fight -- but she jubiliantly wished me luck and said she'd try to scare them off for me whenever she walked by ...), but at this point I'm desperate.

Here's some of the good reads that have my eye the last few days ...

Politics ...
a Al Gore: the anti-Bush
a Obama: Clinton 'mission accomplished' premature

Entertainment ...
a Viacom to offer all clips of 'Daily Show' online
a Shadows linger in late-night TV succession
a Leno keeping NBC up at night

a Chicago Theatre to be sold to major New York producer

Music ...
a Joy Division is multiplying

Baseball ...
a Playoffs now born to be wild
a Fans pay for networks' strategy; Manny strikes a pose
a Beckett's focus, the turning point, Manny's nonsense
a World Series-bound Rockies have captivated Denver
a10 toughest coaching jobs in sports
a Yanks look disorganized, cowardly after Torre's exit
a Despite fair offer, Torre knew it was time to go
a Injuries not markedly greater using alloy bats compared with wooden models
a Steroids: Take one for the team
a 50 years of Dodger baseball

Life & other stuff ...
a Boys' deaths altered Chicago
a BACK OFF! I'M NOT DEAD YET.
a Honey, I promise to love, honor and argue
a Mounting evidence finds even moderate drinking may increase your risk of breast and colon cancer
a What's happened to the missing socks?
a Show us your Google Street View Chicago finds

The Onion ...

Conceptual Terrorists Encase Sears Tower In Jell-O

CHICAGO—The attackers made it clear America's outdated notion of terrorism has been challenged, and that true terror lies in the futility of human existence.

Patriots Stunned By Mere 17-Point Victory

BOSTON—The Patriots organization is reeling this week following their narrow 34-17 victory over the lowly Browns, taking stock of their game-planning methods, philosophy, and indeed their entire season in the aftermath of a game in which...

Torre, Steinbrenner Have Most Awkward Bathroom Encounter Of Their Lives

NEW YORK—The tension and unspoken hostility between Yankees manager Joe Torre and owner George Steinbrenner following the New York Yankees'...